***Content source: http://www.ncpc.org/topics/violent-crime-and-personal-safety/strangers
Who is a stranger?
A stranger is anyone that your family doesn’t know well. It’s common for children to think that “bad strangers” look scary, like the villains in cartoons. This is not only not true, but it’s dangerous for children to think this way. Pretty strangers can be just as dangerous as the not-so-pretty ones. When you talk to your children about strangers, explain that no one can tell if strangers are nice or not nice just by looking at them and that they should be careful around all strangers.
But don't make it seem like all strangers are bad. If children need help--whether they’re lost, being threatened by a bully, or being followed by a stranger--the safest thing for them to do in many cases is to ask a stranger for help. You can make this easier for them by showing them which strangers are okay to trust.
Who are safe strangers?
Safe strangers are people children can ask for help when they need it. Police officers and firefighters are two examples of very recognizable safe strangers. Teachers, principals, and librarians are adults children can trust too, and they are easy to recognize when they’re at work. But make sure that you emphasize that whenever possible, children should go to a public place to ask for help.
You can help your children recognize safe strangers by pointing them out when you’re out in your town. Also show your children places they can go if they need help, such as local stores and restaurants and the homes of family friends in your neighborhood.
Recognizing and Handling Dangerous Situations
Perhaps the most important way parents can protect their children is to teach them to be wary of potentially dangerous situations – this will help them when dealing with strangers as well as with known adults who may not have good intentions. Help children recognize the warning signs of suspicious behavior, such as when an adult asks them to disobey their parents or do something without permission, asks them to keep a secret, asks children for help, or makes them feel uncomfortable in any way. Also tell your children that an adult should never ask a child for help, and if one does ask for their help, teach them to find a trusted adult right away to tell what happened.
You should also talk to your children about how they should handle dangerous situations. One ways is to teach them “No, Go, Yell, Tell.” If in a dangerous situations, kids should say no, run away, yell as loud as they can, and tell a trusted adult what happened right away. Make sure that your children know that it is okay to say no to an adult in a dangerous situation and to yell to keep themselves safe, even if they are indoors. It’s good to practice this in different situations so that your children will feel confident in knowing know what to do. Here are a few possible scenarios:
- A nice-looking stranger approaches your child in the park and asks for help finding the stranger's lost dog.
- A woman who lives in your neighborhood but that the child has never spoken to invites your child into her house for a snack.
- A stranger asks if your child wants a ride home from school.
- Your child thinks he or she is being followed.
- An adult your child knows says or does something that makes him or her feel bad or uncomfortable.
- While your child is walking home from a friend’s house, a car pulls over and a stranger asks for directions.
What Else Parents Can Do
In addition to teaching children how to recognize and handle dangerous situations and strangers, there are a few more things parents can do to help their children stay safe and avoid dangerous situations.
- Know where your children are at all times.
- Make it a rule that your children must ask permission or check in with you before going anywhere.
- Give your children your work and cell phone numbers so they can reach you at all times.
- Point out safe places. Show your children safe places to play, safe roads and paths to take, and safe places to go if there’s trouble.
- Teach children to trust their instincts. Explain that if they ever feel scared or uncomfortable, they should get away as fast as they can and tell an adult. Tell them that sometimes adults they know may make them feel uncomfortable, and they should still get away as fast as possible and tell another adult what happened. Reassure children that you will help them when they need it.
- Teach your children to be assertive. Make sure they know that it’s okay to say no to an adult and to run away from adults in dangerous situations.
- Encourage your children to play with others. There’s safety in numbers!
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Teach your children about stranger danger – by age group
***Content source: http://www.teachkidshow.com/teach-your-child-stranger-danger/
Preschool
Preschool children normally have no fear, they are willing to say hello or talk to almost any adult they see. Although you don’t want to scare your younger children with the truth of abductions, you do want them to know how important it is that they stay safe. Start with a simple explanation, “there are really bad people who want to hurt children, therefore it’s very, very important that you never…”
- Talk to strangers
- Open the door when someone is knocking or ringing the bell
- Leave mom’s side at the store or when we are somewhere outdoors.
- Go outside without me or a trusted adult.
- Go with a stranger who can’t find his dog, wants to give you candy, wants to show you something, wants to give you money, etc.
- Approach a strange car, even if they know mom’s name or your name.
Keep the information simple, yet straightforward. If your children ask you questions be honest, of course age appropriate honesty. Go over simple tactics with your child should they be approached or feel unsafe in a certain situation, such as screaming or trying to get away from a stranger or other types of danger.
Main points to address:
- Keep it simple, but straightforward.
- Go over the main points (as emphasized above.)
- Be honest with your children if they ask you questions.
- Go over screaming and tactics to fight and get away from a stranger.
Grades K-3rd
Older children probably know a little more about stranger danger through schools or other activities in the community or on the news. Yet, it is suggested to be sure your child in this age group be made well aware of the top things to never do…
- Talk to strangers.
- Open the door when someone is knocking or ringing the bell.
- Leave mom’s side at the store or when we are somewhere outdoors.
- Go outside without an adult.
- Go with a stranger who can’t find his dog, wants to give you candy, wants to show you something, wants to give you money, etc.
- Approach a strange car, even if they know mom’s name or your name.
Many parents have successfully used a family code word, this word is one only the family knows. In case of an emergency the adult can give that to a trusted friend or family member the child doesn’t know to indicate a safe person. It is imperative children understand to never give that word out to anyone.
In this age group you can also go over those who are safe people. If children get lost or there is a problem with a strange adult, children should feel safe approaching individuals who are:
- Safety officers such as police, fire, security guards, and EMT.
- Store personal
- Teachers
- Mail carriers
- Mothers with children
- Office staff, those working behind the desk of an office building.
This will give your children the option of running to others who are not intending to harm them, if an incident occurs when the child is alone, gets lost or is separated from their parent.
Main points to address:
- Talk to children about “Safe people".
- Use a code word.
- Go over screaming and tactics to fight and get away from a stranger.
- Make sure they know to always stay with a group or other children if they have to walk home from school or want to play outside.
Grades 4th-6th
Children in this age group will sometimes consider dangers, to really not be so dangerous. In this age group children should truly understand the dangers of strangers. Talk about cases that you know about from family, friends or through the media. You don’t have to tell them every detail of the case, but be honest with your child as well. Tell them if the child got away or lost their lives, we know we don’t want our children to live in fear, but to let them know how very important this message is let them know there is real danger with some strangers.
Children who are getting older should also keep important numbers of family or friends handy, a whistle or cell phone, especially if they have to walk home from school or have to be home alone after school. It is also important for children to have some type of buddy system. They should always walk with a friend or group of friends, isolated children are more of a target than those who are in groups or with other friends.
You should also go over tactics for screaming and fighting to get away from a stranger who tries to grab them. Let them know they are to be sure they do not, in any way, allow that person to get them into a car, that will only allow them to take them somewhere where it will be very hard to find them. Tell them to kick, bite, scream, anything and everything to get away from that person.
Main points to address:
- Emphasize with your children the danger of strangers.
- Have them keep important numbers, a whistle or a cell phone on them at all times.
- Go over “Safe people"
- Go over screaming and tactics and ways to fight and get away from a stranger.
- Make sure they know to always stay with a group or other children if they have to walk home from school or want to play outside.
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